*Nick mentioned a Youtube video whilst we were given this task, so I thought I’d write it like that*
Intro:
I’m surprised I never go into extreme detail about an animated film, because I love animated films. Some people may think I’m just a man-child and still believe that animation is just for kids, well… you clearly don’t remember this. (sausage party) Anyway, throughout the 2010’s there were so many animated films that challenged this idea like, Toy Story 3, Spider-Verse, Anomalisa, Rango and plenty more. but unfortunately there are movies that exist like Minions that think kids are dumb. I hate this movie with a burning passion, I think it’s a lazy cash-grab and for some strange, some people really like this movie… WHY? Is this actually people who exist on this earth that like stuff like this, (show banana homo scene) and this, (show guards dancing scene) and this. (Bob speech scene) my point is, this film hurts to watch, and I’m not talking about spinning stuff, like I’ve mentioned with doctor strange, I’m talking about how it gives you a massive headache by the end, and if you don’t believe me I’ll quickly go through why it’s terrible and that it’s one of the worst animated movies of the 2010’s.
Narration:
Animation is an art form where you can tell a story visually through images the easiest, but the laziest way to not tell your story visually is through narration, and can you guess which film uses narration for laziness? Yeah that’s right Minions. The narrator is just, well… a narrator, he serves no purpose to the story and shows up right at the beginning and right at the end. So that just shows that Illumination can’t even introduce the minions or give a conclusion to them without having it explained directly to us. This just shows that the minions can’t even be introduced to us through visuals, that’s one of the key things you should do when making an animated film. To me, if you want to do good Narration, you should follow 2 simple rules: one, make sure the narrator is a character in the film, and two, make sure the narration gives us a quick explanation of what’s going on in that world without giving much detail away. One film I can think of at the top of my head that follows these 2 rules is Zombieland. The way it follows these rules is simple, Jesse Einsenburg’s character is a key character in the story and he is explaining how the worlds gone to hell from Zombies and how to survive them, it’s that simple.
Characters:
I’ll just quickly mention one point that’s more then obvious, minions have very little detail or character development to even be side characters, let only main ones. And if you don’t agree with me, go ahead and name your favourite minion. (Waiting music) If you answered that genuinely, you’re sad. And if you answered with an actual Minion, what makes them your favourite Minion, without mentioning a ‘funny’ moment they had. Please tell me, I am genuinely interested in what you have to say if you answered that question. And another thing, all the side characters do pretty much nothing, not even the main villain. When Scarlet Overkill asks the Minions to steal the crown, you’re just sat there thinking, “couldn’t she do this herself?” She’s got the weapons and technology to easily steal it, did she have like a dental appointment or something? Also the family who helped the minions get to Orlando have nothing to do as well. Once the minions get hired as Scarlets henchman, they’re thrown right out of the movie until Scarlets coronation, and the only reason… they’re at the coronation… is because… the movie wants to remind you… they were in the movie. Mind blown. The only character I have anything positive to say about is Herb, because after the minions get put in the prison, it seemed like after the Torture scene he would possibly help the minions, or at least forgive them. But nope. He just pretends like the whole Torture scene didn’t happen. It’s like Illumination are building skyscrapers, but about half-way through, they decide to demolish it and start on a new one instead. Every, single, time.
Mistakes:
For this segment I’m also gonna be mentioning Minions Rise of Gru because there’s 3 mistakes with the whole franchise in that movie that just bug me. The first is the introduction of Dr Nefario in the 2nd movie, even though in the 1st movie we see Dr Nefario introduce himself to Gru. The 2nd mistake is that Dr Nefario introduced Gru to new inventions in Rise of Gru, including the Freeze-ray, but at the end of the 1st movie he already has the freeze-ray. And the 3rd mistake is that Gru somehow didn’t age one bit between the first and the second minions movie, despite the 2 movie being EIGHT YEARS APART. This shows that Illumination can’t do anything consistent for at least 2 movies. And it shows in minions. In the trailer there’s a text that says 42 Before Gru, even though the minions meet Gru at the end, and the fact that Gru should’ve never been a child villain in the first place, as explained in the first Despicable Me, but now is a child villain with no explanation whatsoever. I could go on with other simple movie mistakes like how this lunchbox disappears, the American styled fire hydrants in the UK, and somehow when the minions are climbing the church it’s day, but within a few minutes it’s night. But there’s just so many that I can’t put them all of them in this one segment. May I reminder you that this is a billion dollar company, and they’re making this many mistakes.
Soundtrack:
To me, a good soundtrack needs to have songs that fit well with the tone and pacing of a scene. Now, even though the songs that are put in to Minions are good songs, they feel like they’re just thrown in there, as an example, the kink’s ‘you really got me’ is a brilliant song, but when it’s used when the Minions are kidnapping the Crown, I think it’s fine, it fits with the fast pace but not so much the tone. Wait did I just compliment this movie? But other songs like The Who’s ‘my generation’, happy together by the Turtles and ‘break on through’ by the Doors just feel like they’ve been thrown in there. If you’re wondering what warrants me to make a segment out of the soundtrack, it’s that this just shows laziness from Illumination yet again.
Comedy:
One thing that Minions does with its jokes that affects them horribly is the amount of time it takes to build up a joke. This makes the jokes predictable so when the joke does eventually happen, we knew exactly what was inevertable. The scenes with the early man, the Egyptians, the dating game, and the story time really suffer and feel useless as a result of this. Even then I still haven’t mentioned jokes that go on and on which don’t work at the start but they’ll go on, still attempting to make you laugh. Which is exactly like the jokes with the inevertable punchline, they feel useless and make you feel like you’re watching the movie for hours.
This movie is just annoying:
Hearing minions speak for more than an hour and a half is draining, there I said it. Now this next point that I’m gonna mention was said by a massive film channel, I forgot his name, but in short he made a very good point about minions and I just want to briefly mention it. Ok… Minions are like a spice, let’s say… paprika. And a movie is like a dish. If you add a little bit of Paprika onto that dish, aka the first despicable me, the movie or dish improves in quality. But if you dump a boat-load of Paprika on the dish (aka minions) all you get is a plate of paprika, and as a result it tastes horrible. Ok analogy done. The music also doesn’t help being annoying, like when Stuart becomes a Cannibal, and when the guards sing; in fact whenever the minions sing they’re incredibly obnoxious and annoying. But I wouldn’t have a problem with this if they were just side characters.
Outro:
If you somehow couldn’t tell by now, I HATE Illumination, I’ve seen more than half of their movies and the only one I think is ok is the first Despicable me. All I want is to enjoy at least one of there movies, and judging by Illuminations future this may or may not be possible. When I say this I’m not talking about Despicable Me 4, because at this point, it’s very obvious why that movies being made. I’m talking about the Mario movie. Now… I can’t believe I’m saying this but the trailer looks promising. The animation looks a huge step up for illuminations standards, but the cast still worries me. Especially… Star-Lord *Chris Pratt Mario quote here* but seriously if Illumination wants to be an extremely successful animation company like Dreamworks and Pixar they still need to improve on a lot of stuff, like include less minions, better animation, less minions, focus on new unique movies instead of sequels, LESS MINIO…
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